SAM MORSHEAD AT EDGBASTON: South Africa and New Zealand finally figured out a way to deliver an exciting match in this year's hopelessly lopsided tournament, by turning the cricket clock back a decade-and-a-half
Hi, Cricket World Cup? Yeah, it’s 2004. We want our one-day international back.
South Africa and New Zealand finally figured out a way to deliver a dramatic match in this year’s hopelessly lopsided tournament, by turning the cricket clock back a decade-and-a-half.
Batting first, the Proteas never quite adjusted to an uncomfortable surface, struggling to beat the inner ring of fielders and not clearing the ropes until the 42nd over of the innings.
Most of the South African batsmen were left to scratch around for ones and twos through the middle overs - either fearful of expansive strokeplay or simply convinced that a chase of five-an-over would present tricky proposition. They posted 241 for 6, a score that actually comes with its own subscription to Nuts magazine.
New Zealand’s fifth bowler, Colin de Grandhomme, returned 10-over figures of 1-33. Such was the retro feel to the occasion, it wouldn’t have been entirely surprising if the half-time entertainment had been provided by Daniel Bedingfield and the losing Popstars semi-finalists.
The trend continued in the second half, New Zealand refusing to try to take the game away in double-quick time and instead using the fair allocation, with Kane Williamson sticking rigidly to a strike rate of 65 like a motorist with nine points on his licence before pinging 4,6,4 when it mattered at the end.
See, who needs 397 for 6, or individual double hundreds, or bowlers being taken for 110 in an afternoon, when it takes both teams to only just clear 500 runs and there is a finish to raise the heartrate.
Jimmy Neesham, in his black boots, celebrates the wicket of Faf du Plessis
South Africa cannot say they didn’t have the chances to change the course of this match.
Imran Tahir was the bowler in question when South Africa spurned the first glorious opportunity to late on.
Colin de Grandhomme chipped a catch into the legside off the back foot and a leaping David Miller, who only one ball earlier had come within a foot of reaching a lofted drive from Kane Williamson, got one hand to the ball. It would have been a wonderful, wonderful grab, but in these desperate moments, the Proteas needed it to stick.
Another chance wasn’t far away.
With the final ball of the 38th over - and the last ball of his allocation - Tahir drew Williamson into a prod at a jumping delivery outside off stump.
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The legspinner went up. He was the only South African to do so. Captain Faf du Plessis chose not to review.
In the press box moments later there was a collective intake of breath when UltraEdge showed a spike as the ball passed the toe-end of Williamson’s bat.
The Kiwi captain’s charmed life continued in the following over.
Having been called through for a quick single after being dazed by Kagiso Rabada short ball, Williamson was never likely to make his ground. All Rabada had to do was pick out Du Plessis behind the stumps at the bowler’s end. He threw it too wide, Williamson survived.
South Africa, however, do not.
South Africa were beaten, and all-but eliminated from the competition
Did it ever happen to you?
Did you ever rifle through your rucksack just before PE, only to find you’d left your squeaky, clean plimsolls in the cupboard under the stairs?
Did you ever have to suffer the ignominy of filing into the local sports hall in a pair or twice-beaten leather shoes, their clumpy soles and jet-black glean standing out against white socks?
Did you ever feel the embarrassment, the shame?
Evidently, Lockie Ferguson never has, going by the get-up the Kiwi quick rocked at Edgbaston.
Ferguson’s footwear choice split opinion - with many leaping to his defence. Appropriate wheels for a model such as Lockie, was the general verdict. None of those people had to play basketball in a pair of Start-rites, I can tell you right now.
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That said, Ferguson could model six-inch heels and there would be no complaints from his teammates as long as he produced a performance with the ball like this.
A deadeye yorker, the sort you might imagined was delivered using military radar, got rid of Faf du Plessis, and he bowled with rhythm and verve throughout, sniffing around the 90mpn barrier and giving South Africa’s batsmen the hurry-up.
With Matt Henry and Colin de Grandhomme maintaining ridiculously efficient lines and lengths, and Trent Boult always offering strike potential at the other end, New Zealand have perhaps the most balanced seam bowling attack in the tournament.
Even when Tim Southee is fully fit, he is going to struggle to break back into this side immediately, on merit. And that is quite a luxury to have.
Martin Guptill steps on his own stumps
Imran Tahir has not been hit for a six in this World Cup.
It’s a quite remarkable stat for a spinner in a competition which has seen his peers take plenty of tap.
Tahir’s figures to date: 2-61, 2-57, 0-58, 4-29 and 0-38 - 47 overs without being taken over the ropes.
Given his team’s weak showing, that’s a seriously impressive effort.
Anyone familiar with the Eric Hollies Stand on a major matchday will know it is English cricket’s boombox - an outlandish, some would say larish, mishmash of fancy dress, funky humour and one pint too many.
It was quite startling, then, to see it so subdued on this particular occasion - with only a handful of fans turning up in costume, and with the PA system not encouraging slurred verses of Sweet Caroline between each over.
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