GEORGE DOBELL, HUW TURBERVILL, JAMES COYNE, SAM MORSHEAD, NICK FRIEND, NICK HOWSON and ELIZABETH BOTCHERBY pick their series scorelines, leading run-scorers and wicket-takers, and biggest contrived controversies...
The Cricketer's writers make their picks ahead of the Ashes campaign, which begins in Brisbane on December 8...
George Dobell: It’s hard to be wildly optimistic, isn’t it? I fear a real drubbing. Perhaps 4-0 or even 5-0. I’d be delighted if England make me eat my words.
Huw Turbervill: 4-1
James Coyne: I think it’ll go one of two ways: a nip and tuck win for England (perhaps 2-1 or even 3-2) after exposing Australia’s lack of practice early on; or Australia will edge or weather the early rounds and run away with it 4-1 or 3-1. Given England’s palpable fragility with the bat, obviously the latter is more likely…
Sam Morshead: 3-1. Enough rain around to ruin the Brisbane opener, while I back England to squeeze a consolation victory out of a rearranged final Test under the lights at the MCG.
Nick Howson: Famous last words, but this doesn't feel initially at least like it'll be another home whitewash. That said, 4-0 and a repeat of 2017/18 feels like a realistic proposition.
Nick Friend: 3-1, Australia
Elizabeth Botcherby: 4-0 (to Australia, obviously)
Australia skipper Pat Cummins (Chris Hyde/Getty Images)
George Dobell: Ben Stokes is one of those cricketers who you can’t take your eye off whether he’s batting, bowling or fielding. The fact that he’s making a return to cricket will no doubt increase the amount of attention upon him and, from a distance, it’s hard to know how he is.
But once the cricket starts, I’d expect his competitive qualities to kick in. And he is a magnificent player. But there are dozens of intriguing story lines here: the fall-out of Tim Paine’s resignation; the ability of David Warner to deal with the wobble-seam; how effective Jack Leach can be on these surfaces; Mark Wood’s role and England’s reliance upon a pair of opening bowlers who are, give or take, the same age as Uluru. I can’t wait.
Huw Turbervill: Joe Root against Australia’s hydra. The hosts’ three-pronged seam attack of Pat Cummins, Josh Hazlewood and Mitchell Starc know that if they can repress Root, the urn is likely to stay in Australia’s hands. Root needs to have a 700-runs-plus series, and hope that a couple of team-mates on any given day can carry the fight with him.
James Coyne: Whether Pat Cummins can hold the Australian ship together. The tension between the heart-on-sleeve style of Justin Langer, set against the more detached, less tribal nature of the Pilates-era franchise T20 globetrotter, could be torn open if England emerge from Adelaide ahead in the series (and they simply must win there under lights, you’d imagine).
Steve Smith probably should be Australia captain, and might be if Cummins breaks down, so long as Cricket Australia can drop their puritanical stance on these things. Both countries’ cricket are in a period of frenzy about events off the field; with optics key, we could have an overwrought board reaction to rival the ball-tampering penalties. Hard to believe it’s just 10 years since Andy Flower’s pursuit of victory at all costs…
Sam Morshead: Jonny Bairstow vs Ollie Pope for the England No.6 spot. England need more from their lower middle order than they have been getting, and a lot will rest on Bairstow, who looks set to start the series. That in itself is a curiosity given Ollie Pope's evident ability on quick, true pitches (just take a glance at his first-class record at The Oval). If Bairstow fails at the Gabba, how long will England persevere. And when will Pope's immense potential start translating into consistent appearances and runs for his country?
Nick Howson: Will anyone care? This might be the fourth time either of the big three have met in Tests in 2021 and yet the outcome feels like a formality. In the UK at least, fans will be asked to stay up through the night to support their team. If one-sided sessions, days, and Tests follow, for how long with sport's oldest rivalry continue to hold the attention? It saddens me to say, but the blue-riband series on the calendar might be reduced to a footnote.
Nick Friend: Well, how Pat Cummins fares as captain is an obvious one, as is the likely Test debut behind the stumps for Alex Carey, who has a middling first-class record but is a far better player than his numbers suggest.
England’s management of their seam attack will be fascinating, especially in the absence of Jofra Archer and Olly Stone’s genuine pace. There will no doubt be a temptation to overuse Mark Wood, while Saqib Mahmood is surely a decent bet to remain with the squad following the conclusion of the Lions tour. Ollie Robinson will be crucial, you feel, while the management of Stuart Broad and James Anderson promises to be interesting.
Elizabeth Botcherby: The return of Ben Stokes. English fans have, quite deservedly, installed the allrounder on a pedestal following his exploits at the Cricket World Cup and Headingley and his return will have given many hope that the anticipated drubbing might not yet be a formality. However, rather than expecting him to single-handedly win the Ashes back, we should just hope that, after a difficult year, Stokes returns to action with a smile on his face and his mojo restored. Anything else is a bonus.
England captain Joe Root (Patrick Hamilton/AFP Sport via Getty Images)
George Dobell: Hard to look past Steve Smith here. It worries me a little that Joe Root has not scored a century in his nine Tests in Australia, but Stokes’ batting looks well-suited to the bowling and the pitches.
Huw Turbervill: Steve Smith – England are still struggling to work out a way to stop him in Test cricket.
James Coyne: Marnus Labuschagne or Steve Smith… although David Warner would have more impact on the outcome of the series if he gets in for some rollocking starts.
Sam Morshead: Everyone's going to go with Steve Smith, aren't they? So am I. Part machine, part wizard, entirely brilliant.
Nick Howson: Marnus Labuschagne has nearly twice as many Test runs in Australia (1,451) since the last Ashes series concluded as the next player, and averages more than anyone to have played 13 innings or more (72.55). He frustrated England into submission two years ago, hitting four fifties in as many Tests after coming in for Steve Smith. You watch his solid technique for a couple of deliveries, and you wonder how he ever gets out.
Nick Friend: Steve Smith. I mean, he’s Steve Smith.
Elizabeth Botcherby: Marnus Labuschagne, although he’ll be run close by Steve Smith.
England bowler Jimmy Anderson (Patrick Hamilton/AFP Sport via Getty Images)
George Dobell: Josh Hazlewood is something close to fast-bowling perfection. He is relentless, skilful and capable of bowling at high pace (remember his spell to Mark Stoneman in Perth?) without any loss of control for remarkably long periods. I expect him to be a key player.
Huw Turbervill: Pat Cummins. I love watching this lean, mean fighting machine do his thing – but will the captaincy be a burden?
James Coyne: Josh Hazlewood. He doesn’t usually rip through batting line-ups like Cummins and Mitchell Starc can, but he is superb, was bowling Test-style spells in the T20 World Cup, and is probably the most likely to play all five Tests. Nathan Lyon may not be far behind. Ollie Robinson is England’s best bet for this, as surely the older quicks are going to have to rotate around him?
Sam Morshead: Expect Australia's three-pronged pace attack to pick up a lot but shared around. Don't rule out Ollie Robinson making a major statement in this series, even if in a losing cause.
Nick Howson: Josh Hazlewood. There is a temptation to assume that Pat Cummins as captain will naturally under-bowl himself during the Test series. Shane Warne's criticism notwithstanding, Mitchell Starc wasn't at his best during the World Cup. Hazlewood doesn't have a particularly eye-catching record at home or against England, but he is the kind of bowler who can hit the nagging lengths that the tourists’ undercooked line-up simply don’t refuse.
Nick Friend: Josh Hazlewood, a gun who might even be slightly underappreciated. Robinson is of a similar style, and it would be no surprise to see him enjoy a profitable tour.
Elizabeth Botcherby: Josh Hazlewood. He has a solid record against England on home soil, he’s enjoying a great summer with newly acquired IPL and T20 World Cup winners’ medals, and Pat Cummins may be a tad distracted by captaincy to be at his potent best. Or perhaps, as with Labuschagne, I’m just feeling contrary.
Steve Smith is back in Australia whites (Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)
George Dobell: I’d love to see Rory Burns and Haseeb Hameed have a strong series. Both are going to face a lot of short-pitched bowling. How they deal with it may go some way towards defining the series. I hope Chris Woakes has an opportunity to show how he’s improved with the kookaburra, too. Remember the ball that dismissed Kane Williamson in Hamilton? If Woakes is fully fit – and that knee is a concern – he could be valuable.
Huw Turbervill: Rory Burns will feel at home, the Australian pitches and ineffective (Kookaburra) ball reminding him of a flat one at The Oval.
James Coyne: I fancy Jhye Richardson for a couple of telling cameos. With James Pattinson now retired, someone else is going to have to step in at some point to relieve the burden from Cummins. As for England, where’s the pace coming from? With Mark Wood’s fitness up in the air and Brydon Carse injured, how about Saqib Mahmood and Liam Norwell for a pace bolter?
Sam Morshead: Alex Carey to show the Australian selectors the runs they've been missing from No.7 over the past three years. And Dawid Malan at No.3 for England may prove to be a tricky prospect for Australia.
Nick Howson: Dawid Malan's belligerent knock at Perth was easily the highlight of the 2017/18 tour from an England perspective. Recalled for Tests due to his ability against pace, he's only showed glimpses and had a poor T20 World Cup. He is key to ensuring everything doesn't fall on Joe Root's over-burdened shoulders.
Nick Friend: David Warner should come as no surprise, but he has been written off by plenty in the last year. And when he last faced England in Ashes cricket, he became Stuart Broad’s bunny for two months. But he is a different beast on home soil, averaging upwards of 63. When he was questioned ahead of the T20 World Cup, he responded by being named as its player of the tournament. It would hardly be a shock if he bit back against his doubters once again.
Elizabeth Botcherby: Usman Khawaja to make a triumphant return to Australia’s XI, score a relaxed century in stark contrast to the twitchy Steve Smith, and bow out of international cricket in style.
England's Ben Stokes (Patrick Hamilton/AFP Sport via Getty Images)
George Dobell: Ben Stokes’ kit should come with a cape.
Huw Turbervill: If not Root, it has to be Ben Stokes, who committed to the tour late doors – swooping in like Han Solo saving Luke Skywalker on his Death Star run in A New Hope.
James Coyne: You’d imagine Rory Burns, Joe Root and Ben Stokes are each going to have to have huge series if England are to prevail. But I can see Wood putting in a heroic shift to win a match, even if he limps out of the tour afterwards.
Sam Morshead: Joe Root and Ben Stokes are the obvious picks here but, really, England need the entire Marvel universe to secure victory in this series.
Nick Howson: Water boy Matt Parkinson. Another tour. Another set of hotels. Another wait for a Test debut. I hope he goes full Santa at the MCG.
Nick Friend: If it’s not Joe Root and it’s not Ben Stokes, then this feels like an opportunity for Rory Burns, who – at 29 Tests into his international career – is the senior man at the top of the order. I’m backing him – with his idiosyncrasies and strangely elegant stroke-play – for a decent tour.
Elizabeth Botcherby: It’s Joe Root’s world and we’re just living in it.
Australia's metronome, Josh Hazlewood (Matt Roberts/Getty Images)
George Dobell: I hope that, given how much we’ve all been through in recent months, there might be a more generous spirit around this series than the last couple. Sure, we want the cricket to be uncompromising, but there’s no need for any of the nonsense we’ve seen in recent years. I really do hope this can be a celebration of Australia reopening after Covid.
Having said that, there does seem a fair chance that, at some stage, someone in the media will blame Ben Stokes for everything from Omicron to global warming. Meanwhile, in England, the counties will be blamed for a failure to produce fast bowlers or spinners and we’ll be plunged into another round of navel gazing. When we know already it’s all The Hundred’s fault, right? (Before you email, this is a joke. Well, mostly).
Huw Turbervill: With England restricted to their Covid compound, the Australians have control of what food and drink goes in. Root’s men are outraged when the first food package arrives and it contains Fosters and Vegemite instead of the ordered Tetley’s Bitter and Marmite.
James Coyne: Last summer an Australian tabloid threw caution to the Covid wind, and sent one of their intrepid news reporters undercover to Birmingham, all expenses paid, to dig up dirt on England’s squeaky-clean allrounder Chris Woakes.
The pre-series clicks could get the paper through Christmas, was the thinking. The problem is Woakes is the nicest man in English cricket, and has never said boo to a goose, so the reporter returns home empty-handed before the first Test. But no one is completely squeaky clean, right? That’s what our social media footprint is there to expose, isn’t it? Though Woakes – like every other current professional sportsman – went back through his old social media to check he hadn’t made any abusive messages, he forgot about his MySpace account.
Though the reporter fired a blank, some years ago when Woakes was just hitting the England side a Twitter troll with unusual foresight of societal trends screenshotted joshing messages sent on MySpace by 13-year-old Aston Villa fan Chris Woakes to a Birmingham City fan in 2004.
The messages are circulated to maximum effect on Twitter on the opening day at Brisbane, and after a slog in the Queensland sun the ECB sit Woakes in front of a camera to make a forlorn apology “for any offence caused to Bluenoses”. But will England’s clean young thing be sent home from the Ashes in disgrace? The ECB are already scripting the redemption story…
Sam Morshead: At some point, Ben Stokes will find himself on the front page for putting recycling in the waste bin, or not crossing the road at a designated spot.
Nick Howson: Tom Banton should open. Why can't Jos Buttler go #fullwhiteballmode? Over-rates. Stewards in front of the side screen. It's too hot. Four-day Tests. Alcohol bans. The death of Test cricket. The stumps are essentially bigger. Win toss, win game. First hour. One brings two. Spirit of cricket. Tennis ball bounce. Heavy ball. Dropped the Ashes.
Nick Friend: It wouldn’t be an Ashes tour in the 21st century if England didn’t panic themselves into chucking a debutant leg-spinner into the action ahead of a face-saving fifth Test. Mason Crane and Matt Parkinson are both on the Lions trip as candidates, but Crane has already performed that particular role, making Parkinson an early favourite. There will almost certainly be a controversy around quarantine and border restrictions at some stage, while The Courier Mail often find a way of getting involved.
Elizabeth Botcherby: The series heads into the fifth Test tied at 0-0 and with La Nina’s damp conditions threatening to wash out the entire Ashes, Australia and England opt to settle the series with a 90-minute hybrid football-Aussie Rules fixture. Winner takes all.
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